25 October 2011


I'm so lonely. I have no friends - not anymore - not in a long time. I miss having a life. I'm a prisoner and I don't know what I did wrong. What did I do to deserve this? I just want to cry. I could talk to my Dad but he's gone now. I feel so sick all the time and so, so tired. fuck it. What an absolutely extravagant pity party.

17 October 2011

Do You Hear The People Sing?

I believe in Occupy Wall Street. I AM the 99%, as are most of my family and friends and we don't need to sit down and shut up anymore. This is not just a New York thing nor even an American thing - this is global. There are too many people "just getting by" and even more who are not lucky enough to even do that. The world needs a wake up call and this is it. There have been revolutions that changed the course of a nation - THIS is a revolution (and a peaceful one at that) that will change the course of the world. "Do You Hear the People Sing?"

13 October 2011

Read, Reader, Reading

I think I'm pretty lucky. My parents read to me as a child. We had LOTS of books. My parents read a lot too - Newspapers, National Geographic, Reader's Digest, Books running a gamut of topics. My love for books and reading stemmed from this. About 2 years ago they were collecting books for the wounded/recovering soldiers at Camp LeJeune I donated about 200 of my own books - hardcover mostly. I felt like I was giving away my children but I knew it was for a good cause. I had read all of them and some several times. Knowing that others will gain some joy/escape makes me happy.

12 October 2011

Who Needs Hell When You've Got Life

Well this is what I've got so far:  

As an Atheist I'm angry(always), bitter, not capable of happiness, non joie de vivre, in times of desperation will fall back(or is it crawl back?) to god and religion and am incapable of any true positive emotions.

Now on the other hand - any Christians(those who are saved in particular)are the complete and total opposite except for desperation; they're always asking god for help which is a sign of strength not desperation.

Let's go back to me for a moment. When I give closer scrutiny to those glowing sentiments about Atheists I realize that a few are wrong - utterly and completely. I actually think I'm quite capable of happiness, as much as anyone living in the world today. I would have to say any anger and bitterness that I might exude comes not from my lack of religion but from tiring year after year of mental illness. Bipolar is not all the fun it portrays itself as. In my most desperate hours, since my de-conversion, I have never once thought "Oh damn things really suck, I bet if I still believed in God It wouldn't be like this!" followed quickly by "Gee I think I will believe in God again!" - At this point please cue the rainbow shitting unicorns.

Having dependence on a make-believe god doesn't make a person more or less stronger than one who doesn't. I venture to say that to live life on your own terms, without the benefit of a placebo, allows you the edge on strength not desperation. 

03 October 2011

I get my best stuff from my FB page

Here we go again another quaint tale from my FaceBook page.....

When you say... "I may not agree with a homosexual lifestyle but that doesn't mean that I think gays are second class citizens & I would never force my religious views on anyone." but basically in the same breath say... "... It just means that they believe that God intended sex to be between a man and a woman, as well as the covenant of marriage. I do support Civil Unions however. That is just what I personally believe..." By saying this you ARE forcing your religious views on others - not everyone is a christian and marriage is not solely a christian tradition (a marriage license is issued by the gov't, many ceremonies are not christian and lastly this is not a christian nation) Also there is no such thing as a "homosexual lifestyle". I do not know many people that would choose a life of degradation, shunning by family, fear of violence from ignorant bigots and reduction to 2nd class status. No one chooses to be gay. You are born that way - it is genetics and wiring in the brain. People who are bigots actually choose(or in some cases had it chosen for them) that "lifestyle". Bigotry is not inherent. It stems from indoctrination and can be changed thru education. Big difference. In fact if homosexuality was a choice there would be no gays - partly from indoctrination by straight parents and fear of being ostracized by society. Homosexuality is found in well over 450 species but homophobia is only found in one -humans. One other trait is found in humans - cherrypicking.