Bipolar Me

I feel the facade falling. I can't feel my own self anymore. I'm so empty but yet I'm speeding along in my mind. I'm tired. I want it to end. I'm so tired.The tears are falling - non-stop rain in my life... my heart. Banging, pounding in my head, my heart.

You are gone. You don't matter. Never have. Never will. Fuck you.

I need to get away from the ignorance. The stupidity. The intolerance. The hatred. The indifference.

Music makes life        come alive    fly    with me  it's not much     further   freedom      life   peace.

I need this feeling.................. it's been stolen for too long................. emptiness invades  a thief a robber

Bring me his head on a silver platter. Burn the heretics. Do it in the name of no one. It matters not cause no one will remember the importance. They will remember the horror. They will remember the hate. They will judge the past without an eye on the present.

The only thing that will matter is they are right, correct, just and only they are.

Everyone else is not.   There is only their truth. The truth.  Everywhere.

Words.     love  life  emptiness hate.  Shattered broken intelligence

             plausible deniability

s i g h

I don't know where this will end up. It's crazy - just fucking crazy. 

My life, this country, people in general.

Just tired and a little sad. 

We Are Woman !

I'm speaking to you.  Women who are not supporting other women. We all have different beliefs but we all have one important thing in common - we are women. We need to start sticking up for each other. Straight, lesbian, transgender, mother, daughter, sister, friend - we seem different but not so.  "We are all women" is our first commonality but we have others, sadly others. We can be victims of incest and possibly become pregnant or at the very least acquire a STD along with severe genital trauma. We can be raped of which pregnancy, STD's and genital trauma are all possible. In both situations physical and psychological trauma would also be possible outcomes. Cultural traditions are also important in how these issues are dealt with. Some girls and women are told they are to blame for what has occurred and are then shunned or in extreme situations killed. Although religion, cultural or familial beliefs can all impact differently, we are still all women. And we should all be able to decide how we best will deal with these in our own way. Medical decisions should be our own - always. Not (ever) decided in a State House by men and sometimes women that don't know anything about the women who are in these difficult situations. A woman and her doctor - the only people in the equation. When women are corralled as a faceless entity and treated as feeble minded so that seemingly the only intelligent decisions could not possibly be made by them - well women are in a sad position.

We are the only ones who will stand up for us. We have our best interests in mind - no one else will do right by us. Who would force anyone to relive an emotional, physical and psychological trauma for nine more months? Will they be with us through each harrowing day and night? Will they pay all the doctor's bills? Give us paid leave from our work? And in extreme cases shelter and food?  And will they truly care for the child's needs before and after birth? It costs between $120,000 and $250,000 to raise a child from birth to age 18 according to a survey by the U.S. Department of Agriculture (this estimate does not include college tuition).

Before the next Abortion Clinic is bombed or the next doctor gunned down perhaps the "Pro-Life" people should honestly look at their motives and the complete "cost" of their actions. They should also look at the fact that their belief systems are theirs and theirs alone no matter how much they desire it to be the world view.

Ruby Bridges

In Spring 1960, Ruby Bridges was one of several African-Americans in New Orleans to take a test to determine which children would be the first to attend integrated schools. Six students were chosen, however, two students decided to stay at their old school, and three were transferred to Mcdonough. Ruby was the only one assigned to William Frantz. Her father initially was reluctant, but her mother felt strongly that the move was needed not only to give her own daughter a better education, but to “take this step forward … for all African-American children.” As soon as Bridges got into the school, white parents went in and brought their own children out; all teachers refused to teach while a black child was enrolled. They hired Barbara Henry, from Boston, Massachusetts, to teach Bridges, and for over a year Mrs. Henry taught her alone, “as if she were teaching a whole class.” That first day, Bridges and her adult companions spent the entire day in the principal’s office; the chaos of the school prevented their moving to the classroom until the second day. Every morning, as Bridges walked to school, one woman would threaten to poison her, because of this, the U.S. Marshals dispatched by President Eisenhower, who were overseeing her safety, only allowed Ruby to eat food that she brought from home. Another woman at the school put a black baby doll in a wooden coffin and protested with it outside the school, a sight that Bridges Hall has said “scared me more than the nasty things people screamed at us.” At her mother’s suggestion, Bridges began to pray on the way to school, which she found provided protection from the comments yelled at her on the daily walks. The Bridges family suffered for their decision to send her to William Frantz Elementary: her father lost his job, and her grandparents, who were sharecroppers in Mississippi, were turned off their land. She has noted that many others in the community both black and white showed support in a variety of ways. Some white families continued to send their children to Frantz despite the protests, a neighbor provided her father with a new job, and local people babysat, watched the house as protectors, and walked behind the federal marshals’ car on the trips to school.

David Attenborough - What a Wonderful World

Best Thing About Being An Atheist - It Requires So Little of Your Time

Merry Book-mas

This is my idea 
of a happy holiday.