Here's where it gets fuzzy

Here's where it gets fuzzy. How does one build a strong nation while tearing out the underpinnings of its people most in need of protection? Disabled, unemployed, homeless, sick, mentally ill, poor, uneducated and elderly.These are all Americans just as much as the wealthy, the arrogant, the privileged. I question the veracity of the claim that I am less an American because I am disabled, gay, a woman, mentally ill, unemployed or because I do not hold to religious beliefs especially the notion that this is a christian nation. I am intelligent and educated. I am a voracious reader and I work hard to expand my knowledge to the greatest extent possible. I read texts that I may not necessarily agree with but fill the need of broadening my views whether thru affirmation or negation. I cannot understand people who do not wish to educate themselves - to further their knowledge. Why do some wish to wallow in ignorance, a cage of their own making, and even try to prison others in it? I told you it got fuzzy.

Until the other shoe drops...

So, a surprise.

I went to bed on Saturday 11 April in the throes of one of the longest and deepest depressions I've had in a very long time. And on Sunday 12 April I awoke to... no depression. There was no slow shifting change it was just  - BAM - I feel like nothing was ever wrong.

This lasted until the weekend of my cousin's wedding June 27 to July 1st - when it started to get a little murky and by the time we arrived home I was in complete meltdown. Go figure. Since then it's been up and down with melancholia straight thru the center. I tend to think that the latter part is related to a physical ailment - more tired than usual and blue toes. The doctors took a ton of blood and ruled out Lupus, auto-immune diseases in general, rheumatoid issues but now are looking at thyroid. Thank you Lithium if it is. Won't know the results for a bit. 

There's NOTHING more I WANT from you

Here it is again. I did not ask for this visit. The only difference is that it arrives more often. I honestly thought I would have more time. The gaps narrow and I have no choice but to accept them. I love the 'up' times but there are so few now. I have one option but I don't feel ready for that finality yet. Count the minutes. Count the weeks. Count the years. Count the days to the holidays.

I'm holding out for a HERO

I don't think America knows what a hero is anymore.

he·ro   [heer-oh]  

noun, plural he·roes

1.

a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.

2.

a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal: He was a local hero when he saved the drowning child.

As much as I like sports I do not think that any player fits the criteria. 
The same is true of an elderly man who suffers memory loss and walks from NH to NC. Lucky as hell but not a hero.

You know who real heroes are... Firemen and Police especially the ones on 9/11. Our military.People who put their lives on the line, knowing full well they are putting themselves in harms way - Paramedics and EMT's
A child's Mother and Father when they chase away the monsters in the closet and under the bed - for that is a child's view.
As adults we need to realize that the word hero is a special word with special meaning that should not be invoked lightly.

http://news.yahoo.com/missing-nh-vacationer-found-2-weeks-later-nc-204818433.html

know what you want

Seduction

My lover has returned with promises 
of peace, darkness and no pain for eternity.

47%

Mr Romney I am part of the 47% that you seem to dismiss. I receive Social Security Disability and Medicare. I did not choose to become a "slacker" and "mooch off" the government. I started working at 16 and held my last job in 2000. I worked in food service, retail (management as well as straight customer service), I was a Pottery Studio assistant  and taught Art in a grammar school in Brooklyn. My problem was that my Bipolar - oh yes I was diagnosed Bipolar in high school, likes to rear its ugly head at the most inopportune times. I missed the majority of my senior year, the first 5 months of 1995 and a minimum of one week a year (sometimes more, sometimes less) all spent in mental hospitals.

Mr Romney there is no "free ride". I paid into Social Security, taxes in three different states and dealt with the majority of people who do not like/understand mental illness. Explain (without explaining) why you need every Thursday off. I either ignore peoples curiosity about why I don't work or explain and lose potential friendship. The price I pay everyday is human contact. People are curious about why am I 43 and still living with my Mom.  There were times when I did live on my own and held a responsible job but then the other shoe would drop and I would totally lose it. I guess you might say I'm gun shy now. I preferred  my "normal" life to the one I exist in now. I have paid with my dignity so that people of your ilk can judge me and tag me "slacker".  I think it would be safe to say that with all the work I have done (in the work force and psychiatric)  that you are, comparatively,  the one who is a slacker.

Mr Romney when you next decide to judge any Americans please try one thing first - walk in their shoes. Survive for one month on $1000 or less(I get $900 due in part to my work history). Pay rent, utilities, medications and food. Buy gas for your car or pay for public transportation or if not lucky enough to have a car and there's no public transportation then get up early to walk. This is real life for many real Americans. Do not insult us. We are the people who do the work you believe is beneath you, the elderly, the working poor, the unemployed looking for work, veterans, the mentally ill and physically ill - chronic illnesses, rare genetic disorders and debilitating injuries. You will find that people who are on unemployment, disability, Social Security, food stamps, Medicare, Medicaid or any of the safety nets and life lines that are there to HELP people really DO need the help.  That's what a good country does for it's people - what the people do for each other. If you remove these safeties what do we have? Insane asylums and work houses? People dying at home (or in the streets) due to no healthcare access. Children going hungry or getting their only meal from school.

Now I'm an Atheist but this saying works for me for this situation....
"There but for the grace of god go I."
I'm speaking to you Mr Romney.