Apropos

 She hasn't spoken to me in over a year and it was pretty sporadic before that. I love her - I always will. I don't know if she loves me, likes me, hates me or is indifferent to me. I won't ever know unless she decides to reach out in some way. I feel bad for her because I really can't think of what I could have done to cause this rift. Except. Well, there is one thing. Our Dad died in 2009 and I called her that weekend and told her he had taken a turn for the worse and was not expected to make it. She said she didn't have the money to fly out and I told her I would pay for the ticket. When she stopped contact in 2015 she still owed me about $300. She had paid $25 here and there but when I would ask if she was sending a cheque she would lie or plead poor. If she had just said she had no intention of paying me back it would have been easier all around. I had expenses of my own and it was a hardship for me to pay for her ticket but she is my sister and that was our father dying. I wonder if roles had been reversed...

I'm making excuses for someone who is selfish.  About 1 month before my dad passed he had a conversation with me about my sister. He looked me in the eye and told me to stop buying my sister gifts(I had a habit of buying her things I thought she would like but not purchase for herself). He said she was selfish and cared for no one but herself and all the presents in the world would not buy her love or her friendship. He acknowledged that while she was his daughter and he loved her - he and my mother had not raised her that way and he could not understand why she was the way she was and it bothered him. The situation with the plane ticket should not have been a surprise but it is fascinating that it was related to my father and what he said. My sister did not disappoint.

I have an uncle who always treated me well to my face but privately told his children to keep their distance because I was "crazy" - I'm bipolar. Here's the best part his daughter was diagnosed as bipolar in college - she told me herself. I guess it rubbed off after all. He and my dad were estranged  in later years and my dad never knew why. The day before my dad died I called his brother to let him know the doctor's didn't think dad would last thru the next day and his response, his only response was... "that's too bad". What a dick. That was always the way my dad's family was - he was the black sheep - he was the kind one.
My uncle's wife is not much better. It's been 6 yrs and she sends me a friend request on Facebook - I said yes.  I would send her funny memes and comment on her posts but she never responded. She would respond to similar things posted by her other friends who happen to include my sister (who has me blocked due to the plane ticket fiasco) but not me so the other day I un-friended her and she proceeded to ask me what was up in a PM. I told her I didn't know what she wanted and it seemed we were already not friends - she wrote back saying it was my decision and she hoped I would be happy. After 24 hrs I put out a friend request to her because I thought maybe I had been rash. As I was clicking I noticed this on her board:

So I figured this was supposed to be about me. It was - she gave me a few more hours before she blocked me. Passive-aggressive anyone? I'm not sure how I'm deemed angry and looking for conflict - all I wanted to know was why after 6 yrs of no contact did she reach out on FB but never talk to me (she did stalk though - that I know for certain) Her meme is apropos  because it actually has more to do with her and my sister - who made this comment on it:

My sister who hasn't spoken with me or our mother in over a year because she had to make us the bad ones over a plane ticket to her father's funeral. My sister is a recovering alcoholic, anorexic and bulimic who blamed everyone else for her problems. 

My sister is the source of her conflict.

She is the angry one.

My aunt and my uncle they are the source of their conflict. 

They are the angry ones. 

I'm not the healthiest but I'm not crazy and I'm in therapy working thru my issues. I can't speak for them but the last time I had talked to my sister "she did not have time for therapy." My sister is an RN - she's not dumb nor is she poor but as my dad said she is selfish.

I pity her and my extended family - it is their loss.