04 February 2016

Truth and Trust


 We raise our children with the idea that they will trust and be truthful. I don't think we instruct them, correctly, in either. Trust is to be earned not inherently given. A child does not know that some adults and other children will take advantage of them to serve their own purposes. "I want what you have - be it a toy, candy or your body." "Give me what I want and I won't hurt you or your brother, sister or your parents." How is a child to know how or who to trust if they are not taught but expected to make decisions based on little to no information about real world situations? If we gave them the tools to speak up, to know that it's your body, your mind and that no one has the right to talk to you, touch you, tell you what is right or wrong for you. No stranger, friend or family member has the right to bully, abuse, molest or harass anyone. If we can't, don't or won't teach trust then how can we expect our children to be truthful? A child will be unable to talk about behaviors of others and themselves to responsible adults and/or peers if the fear of disbelief is present. That no matter what they try to say or explain it will be shrugged off or discounted. That they just won't have the words to make their case because they don't know that the behavior towards them is inappropriate. That the victim will 'become' the offender.  Just because it is a learned behavior does not make it appropriate. Bullying, eating disorders, self-harm, abuse: sexual, physical, verbal and emotional, drugs and alcohol, neglect, depression all add up to children who become adults who cannot trust and do not know the truth.

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